The Weekly Weird-off: The Library at Mount Char vs. Crash

Welcome to the Weirdathon's FINAL Weekly Weird-off! And may I just say, I think it features some of the weirdest books we've encountered. Here your word gladiators will be fighting to the death to determine which weird book is the weirdest. Welcome our guests, Kerry from Entomology of a Bookworm and Heather from Bits & Books!

This debate features The Library at Mount Char by Paul Hawkins and Crash by J.G. Ballard. Full disclosure: I've read The Library at Mount Char, but I'll only take into consideration Kerry's representation of it. If I don't feel like I'm being unbiased enough, I'll call in a judge who has read neither. 

WARNING: This debate contains some graphic NSFW language. Do not continue if you have an impressionable child reading over your shoulder or anything. 

Each contestant is allowed to rebut their opponent's answer before moving on to their answer. Ding ding ding, let the fight begin!

Kerry - Entomology of a Bookworm  VS.   Heather - Bits & Books

INTRODUCTIONS 

Kerry: Oook it’s pretty much impossible to summarize this book, but I’ll try? On its surface, it’s about a group of twelve Librarians who have been raised from childhood by a brutal, intelligent, and now-missing man they know as Father. As the novel opens, each of the Librarians is using his or her knowledge of his or her catalog (War, Death, Languages, etc.) to try to locate their lost patriarch and regain access to the Library. This whole strange world sits literally inside of our own (the Library is tucked inside a perfectly forgettable suburban development), which makes Hawkins’ exploration of the relationship between power and knowledge (and possibly fate) all the more intriguing. And sometimes hilarious. And a lot dark.

Heather: Basically the book is about the increasingly intimate and perverse relationship between humans and technology (think about all the places you take your phone, like THE TOILET, for example). But instead of writing some sweet sci-fi or even an essay, Ballard (who is also the narrator) decided to write a book about a bunch of people with a full on car crash fetish. Basically, Ballard gets into a car crash, watches the man in the other car die, then starts up an affair with the dead man’s wife. All pretty standard, until Ballard decides that the car crash is the catalyst for a kind of sexual awakening and he begins to develop a fetish for crashes, crash victims, and cars in general that become more extreme as the story progresses.

WHAT ARE SOME STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE PLOT?

Kerry - Answer: I’m not even sure where to start. To begin with, the novel starts smack dab in the middle of things: no build-up, no explanation, no hand-holding. Hawkins throws us right in and we’re left to figure things out as we go (which is like 50% of the fun of the book, the other 50% being how clever it all is). The theoretically inimitable and all-knowing Father has mysteriously disappeared (dead? Lost? Stuck somewhere? Who knows!) before the book begins, and his disappearance coincides with the start of some kind of forcefield around the Library that prevents the Librarians from going home. And remember, the “Library” appears--on the outside at least--as a boring old house in a boring old suburb surrounded by boring old people. Except the Librarians call those people “the dead ones” because they are in fact not alive, but living in a sort of suspended animation to make the neighborhood appear real to others (like lost FedEx drivers and curious door-to-door salespeoples).

So the Librarians are looking for Father and waiting for Nobunaga, who may be some kind of courtier or some kind of god or maybe both?, and also happens to be a talking tiger. Which is all pretty freaking weird on its own, but then Hawkins starts building in the backstory of how the Librarians came to be Librarians, and how Father disappeared, and we’ve got disappearing parents, a suspicious bull-shaped barbeque grill that locks from the outside, kidnapped lions set loose, and a staged house robbery that may or may not be a cover up of the murder of a police detective who may or may not have come back from the dead to arrest the robber who shot the detective.

It’s like every page has some new detail and every detail leads to a whole new understanding of the world of Mount Char and it’s all very chaotic in the best kind of mind-fuckery way.

Heather - Rebuttal: That does all sound pretty weird. But I would suggest that the outward appearance of the Library is kind of like the tents in Harry Potter - normal on the outside, extra roomy on the inside. I like to think of that as fantastic and magical, not too weird. But you’ve kind got me on everything else - especially the zombie type neighbours.
 

Heather - Answer: It’s actually really hard to think of weird things that happen in the plot because the whole book is just in your face ALL OF THE TIME.

There’s loads of sex on the back seat of cars and the aforementioned people with a fetish. You can probably find that in any book, but these people are REALLY obsessed with car sex and wounds created by car accidents, and they actually get into accidents on purpose and re-enact crashes because that’s the kind of shit that gets them off. If it was just one person doing this, it’d be less weird, but there’s a bunch of them - like a little car-sex cult/club.

There’s all sorts of body fluids mentioned on just about every single page, whether it be vomit, urine, semen, or blood. Ballard even sexualises his own rescue after his initial accident, imagining one of the firemen who rescue him putting his penis under Ballard’s armpit like a weird sex/rescue act.

Then there’s this guy named Vaughan who places his penis on a crashed car and traces around it with chalk because why the hell not?

IS THE FORMAT OF THE BOOK WEIRD?

Kerry - Rebuttal: Is it weird that my initial reaction to all of that is… “ewwww”? I mean, the chalk outline of a penis on a crashed car is definitely weird. I feel like the fetishness of the rest must be very in your face, but there are absolutely those who would argue that fetishes aren’t weird, just a normal part of sexuality.

Kerry - Answer: I’ll be honest, my answer here is mostly no. The subject is weird, the plot is weird, the characters are weird, but I didn’t find the structure or format weird at all. It starts in the middle of things, but the sense of WTF confusion at the beginning feels very intentional on the author’s part, and the plot moves pretty seamlessly between present and past moments to fill in what the hell is going on. So, no. Not really a weird format. 

Heather - Rebuttal: I have no rebuttal for this...

Heather - Answer: I’m pretty much the same - the whole thing was pretty straight forward in terms of format. The writing was pretty out there - everything was really clinical and textbook terminology, so that made it pretty uncomfortable to read - it just made it a lot more intimate. Like this: “In his vision of a car-crash with the actress, Vaughan was obsessed by many wounds and impacts … above all by the wounds to her genitalia, her uterus pierced by  the heraldic beak of the manufacturer’s medallion, his semen emptying across the luminescent dials that registered for ever the last temperature and fuel levels of the engine”. Imagine 188 pages of that. Not normal or comfortable.

ARE THERE ANY INTERESTING CHARACTERS?

Kerry - Rebuttal: Dude, not normal OR comfortable.
 

Kerry - Answer: Well we have the 12 Librarians (who may be siblings). The one who studies the Languages catalog is in the opening chapter in a bar wearing bike shorts, rainbow leg warmers, and galoshes--while bribing an ex-con to rob a house. Her brother (whose catalog is War) is waiting for her at home in a purple tutu wearing a helmet he’s made of the blood and hair of his victims. Rachel communes with the ghosts of children to predict possible futures while Margaret is killed over and over and over again to visit the lands of the dead--but she comes back to life when Jennifer, who studies Healing, reanimates her. And Michael speaks animal (and not just to Nobunaga, the talking tiger, because that animal speaks human, of course).

Even the non-librarians are a touch weird, like the army veteran who became an art teacher who left education to work in government intelligence. And all those “dead ones.”

Heather - Rebuttal: I’ve read this book, so I can attest to the interestingness of the characters (I especially liked Michael). But I don’t think that less than regular clothing should be a stand out factor of weirdness, because people who live in “other world” type places always dress weird. Like the wizards in Harry Potter (apparently I can only think of Potter examples, sorry).
 

Heather - Answer: A group of people who ALL have a weird car-sex fetish? How can they not all be interesting? But Vaughan definitely takes the cake. Aside from tracing around his genitals with chalk, he also drives around town looking for crashes to photograph (because that’s his hobby) and he likes to pose prostitutes on the back seat of the car so that they mimic the dead bodies of the people he’s seen and photographed in accidents (it was a big car - so that’s how he managed this). He’s also really obsessed with the actress, Elizabeth Taylor, and imagines them dying together in an accident.

I think Ballard writing himself as the narrator is pretty interesting too. I had a really hard time separating the author from the character because they were the same person, and while I don’t believe Ballard the author had a fetish of this kind, he was pretty fucked up to be able to come up with all of this.

Kerry - Rebuttal: The more I read of your answers, the more I feel like every part of your book is a “what the fuck moment.” I don’t have a true rebuttal to your last answer besides saying that I’m a bit terrified to see how you answer this question.

IN ONE NONSPOILER-Y SENTENCE, DESCRIBE A "WHAT THE FUCK" MOMENT

 

Kerry: I referenced this a bit earlier, but there’s a moment pretty early on when one of the Librarians bribes an ex-con to rob a house, only the house is full of the reanimated corpse of a dead detective who tries to arrest the robber until the Librarian shoots him and then takes out the robber and then cries a lot and apologizes in every language ever known, and it’s simultaneously very heartbreaking and very confusing, and very much when I realized that I would never be able to predict what insane twists Hawkins will take from page to page.

Heather: Sexual penetration of a LEG WOUND caused by a car crash (obvs) - the owner of the penis *ahem* finishes in there and everything.

SUMMARY

Kerry: Briefly? Ok… we’ve got missing gods and a suburban house that holds all the knowledge of the universe guarded by reanimated zombies and previously inhabited by twelve Librarians who have lived a cruel and unusual life under the reign of the now-missing Father. They hide in plain sight but are entirely strange and recognizable as not of this world--even though they are of this world, in a way--and they can die and talk to animals and come back to life and heal anything and solve all math problems and generally answer every question ever asked, and they wear crazy clothes which are a kind of weird given that they do live in America even if they aren’t really living in the same America as the rest of us. And it’s just a mindfuck of a read, and Hawkins makes it read like a new novel every time the page turns, and it’s totally batshit insane.

Heather: I don’t feel like Kerry’s book has failed in the weirdness sense. I’ve read it and I agree that it’s pretty weird. Having said that, if you want to read weird that makes you confused then go for ‘The Library at Mount Char’. If you want to read weird that basically has you saying “what the fuck am I reading?” all the way through, then ‘Crash’ is what you want. Weird sex, car lovin’, body fluid on every page, wound penetration, crash fetishes, several characters partaking in this fetishism; stalkerish level obsession with a film star and imagining all the ways she could die in a crash AND planning that crash; clinical in your face language. All together that’s pretty fucking weird and easily the most weird/messed up book I’ve ever read.

WINNER

This was legitimately the hardest deliberation I've had to do. I spent days wondering what "weird" even means and how it could possibly be judged. How these two disparate books could be compared. I talked to multiple people about it. And I'm still not 100% sure about my decision, but a decision must be made. As one of my anonymous bias-checkers said upon reviewing the debate, "In Crash, if you take out the weird car part out of the sex, it's just a book about sex." Granted, I haven't read the book, so I'm sure I don't know the intricacies of the weirdness. But that being said, The Library at Mount Char offers up a whole slew of bizarre plot points and characters. World building has to take place to hold the strangeness.

So while Crash is definitely more fucked up and gives The Wasp Factory a run for its money, The Library at Mount Char has a smorgasbord of weird elements. The range of it should not be ignored in a contest such as this. I hesitantly say that The Library at Mount Char wins this round. Kerry wins the weird e-book bundle! Thank you both so much for playing!


Who would you declare winner in this battle of wits and words?

The Weekly Weird-off: Spoiled Brats vs. The Wasp Factory

Welcome to the Weirdathon's Weekly Weird-off! Here your word gladiators will be fighting to the death to determine which weird book is the weirdest. Welcome our guests, Shannon from River City Reading and Shaina from Shaina Reads! Both participants were under the weather, so let's give them an even heartier round of virtual applause for debating.

This debate features Spoiled Brats by Simon Rich and The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks. We're back in my comfort zone now of not having read either book. Each contestant is allowed to rebut their opponent's answer before moving on to their answer. And prepare for some of the nicest rebuttals ever. Ding ding ding, let the fight begin!

Shannon - River City Reading      VS.       Shaina - Shaina Reads

INTRODUCTIONS 

Shannon: Choosing a short story collection feels a little like cheating, but I’m nothing if not ruthless, so here we go. In theory, Spoiled Brats is a collection about the narcissism of the millennial generation and the people who raised them to be that way, but really it’s just a hilariously weird batch of stories that also touches on some deeper things.

Shaina: Not even sure where to start with this bonkers novel, so let’s go with some summary from my review.

“Frank Cauldhame is sixteen years old, homeschooled by his eccentric father and given fairly free rein of the Scottish island they call home. He spends his time building "sacrifice poles" (read: sharpened sticks mounted with animal heads), reflecting on his three familicides and wondering when his older brother Eric, a recent escapee from the psychiatric hospital, will show up at their house.”

WHAT ARE SOME STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE PLOT?

Shannon - Answer: So, short stories mean that there are a ton of plots going on, starting with a story told from the perspective of a classroom hamster named Princess Jasmine who is trying to protect his family from the child who is assigned to take care of the class pet for the week. One of the best stories is about a man who falls into a vat of pickle brine in the early 1900’s, where he is preserved for 100 years, and emerges as a young pickle-selling entrepreneur in 2013. The Brooklynites love him. There’s also stories that confirm some of the weird things we imagine to be true, like the fact that all internet commenters are out to get us and crabby children really ARE demons.

Shaina - Rebuttal: I gotta hand it to you, Shannon. This collection sounds pretty bananas. However, the downside to picking a short story collection is that not all of them can be that weird, right? There have to be some pretty tame ones in the bunch. The Wasp Factory, on the other hand, doesn’t have a normal moment to speak of. Also, we definitely already knew that the internet commenters were out for our blood.
 

Shaina - Answer: At this point, I feel like it’s the common Weird-off answer, but I’m struggling to think of a non-strange moment in the plot.

Frank spends at least half the novel, perhaps more, describing how he tortures animals in excruciating detail. He uses hamsters as catapult ammo, various animal heads for the sacrifice poles that “keep watch” over his island, and blasts rabbits out of their burrows using pipe bombs.

Also, Frank has this thing called (you guessed it) a wasp factory, which is essentially an insect torture chamber. The wasps crawl across a modified clock-face to choose their own death adventures, including (but not limited to) death by spiders, death by fire or death by drowning in some of Frank’s fresh urine. Frank believes that these wasp deaths can somehow tell the future.

Oh, also, Frank (naturally) decides to exhume his old family dog’s skull so that he can plant some candles in it and use it during his murderous rituals. Frank also uses the remains of wasp parts as his candle wicks. Waste not, want not!

IS THE FORMAT OF THE BOOK WEIRD?

Shannon - Rebuttal: Okay, I think your book corners the market on weird waspy guys who like dead things. But don’t be so sure that Spoiled Brats isn’t all weird! There’s not a normal human tale to be told.

Shannon - Answer: The format is pretty straightforward when it comes to short story collections, though the story about the man in the pickle brine is almost a novella at close to 100 pages. Pretty non-weird on this end.

Shaina - Rebuttal: Not really a rebuttal, but 100 pages about pickle brine is pretty weird.

Shaina - Answer: My pick is also pretty straightforward. You’ve got your run-of-the-mill flashbacks to various homicides, of course, but otherwise nothing experimental to see here.

ARE THERE ANY INTERESTING CHARACTERS?

Shannon - Answer: It’s a little harder to develop super interesting characters with detailed backstories in a short story, but there are definitely memorable characters throughout. Not only are there typical “weird” characters like ghosts, elves, and talking animals, Simon Rich does a good job getting to the heart of the Millennial generation through the straightforward humor of the odd situations he puts his other characters in.

Shaina - Answer: Well, I think the three family members might have been interesting had Frank not killed them before they could develop.

Other than that, we’ve got Frank’s dad, who mostly hobbles around seemingly clueless to Frank’s various hobbies; Frank’s brother, Eric, from whom we mostly just get frightening phone calls; and Frank’s friend Jamie. Frank and Jamie often go out drinking at the local pub (this is probably Frank’s second most time-consuming hobby after animal torture), and Frank carries Jamie around on his shoulders so his friend can scope out chicks (did I mention that Jamie’s a dwarf?).

IN ONE NONSPOILER-Y SENTENCE, DESCRIBE A "WHAT THE FUCK" MOMENT

Shannon: There’s a point in one story where you realize that a girl’s study abroad trip is actually to a new planet and she’s doing things like playing Never Have I Ever with aliens.

Shaina: At one point, Frank finds a jar full of genitals in his dad’s office. 
(Whose genitals?! You’ll have to read to find out!)

SUMMARY

Shannon: It’s going to take a bit of trusting here, but you will all have to believe me when I say that every story in this collection really is bananas - no room for normal anywhere. Unlike many story collections that dabble in magical realism, Spoiled Brats is more just straight up weird with a bunch of hilarity thrown in for good measure.

Shaina: Spoiled Brats does sound like a bizarre romp (really, really down to play Never Have I Ever with aliens), but I just don’t think it can top the sheer what-the-fuckery happening in The Wasp Factory. I can’t actually recommend that you read it, but I am more than happy to use it for battle.

WINNER

Again, NICEST REBUTTALS EVER. Though Shannon definitely had my heart at "aliens," I don't even have words for how much I don't understand The Wasp Factory. Putting how absolutely fucked it sounds aside, it sounds wholly strange and imaginative. Why's he got to do bug stuff tho?? And rodent stuff?? The very disturbing The Wasp Factory wins this round. Though I think I want to read Spoiled Brats more. Just because I'm not currently in a murder mood. Shaina wins the weird e-book bundle this week! Thank you both so much for playing!



Who would you declare winner in this battle of wits and words?

The Weekly Weird-off: Lady Into Fox vs. You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine

Welcome to the Weirdathon's Weekly Weird-off! Here your word gladiators will be fighting to the death (did I forget to mention that part?) to determine which weird book is the weirdest. Welcome our guests, Katie from Bookish Tendencies and Chris from Chrisbookarama! 

This debate features You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine by Alexandra Kleeman and Lady Into Fox by David Garnett. This is the first time I've read one of the books being debated (Kleeman's), but I'm only factoring in things Katie mentions in her argument. I will be as unbiased as humanly possible. Each contestant is allowed to rebut their opponent's answer before moving on to their answer. Ding ding ding, let the fight begin!

Katie - Bookish Tendencies    VS.       Chris - Chrisbookarama

INTRODUCTIONS 

Katie: I’m not even sure how to explain what this book is about, but here goes… A woman referred to as “A” lives with her roommate “B” and dates her BF “C.” They eat random food, watch weird television, shop at creepy Wally’s stores where the workers wear gigantic synthetic heads, refuse to help you find anything, and the merchandise moves around daily. A family across the street from A’s and B’s apartment suddenly up and leaves, while wearing white sheets over their head, and dads are disappearing only to later turn up disoriented. And that’s nothing compared to what’s happening on the inside of A’s apartment, as B slowly tries to become more and more like A, in a creepy-stalker kind of way.

Chris: On an ordinary winter day, a newly married couple go for a walk. In the distance, a huntsman’s horn sounds. Behind the man, his wife calls out. When he turns around he finds she has been turned into a fox. Just like that the lady is a fox. The author, David Garnett, says that the story is true. He claims wrote the story as it was told to him and even double checked his sources. There is no magic in this story. The fact is the lady was a woman one moment, and fox in physical form the next. The fox’s husband tries to keep their lives the same as before her transformation and it works… for awhile. Over time her foxy instincts take over. Her husband must make a choice: keep her locked up and unhappy, or let her go into the wilderness and possibly lose her forever. Lady Into Fox is a short novel written by a member of the Bloomsbury Group in 1922. In a time of experimentation, literary and social, the book challenges traditional ideas of marriage and sexuality within the structure of a folktale.

WHAT ARE SOME STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE PLOT?

Katie - Answer: It would be easier to talk about what *ISN’T* strange about the plot, but I’m happy to make a list. 1) No one has any names, just letters. 2) At one point, one of the roomies steals the others’ make-up, smashes it all together and smears it all over herself, her roommates dresser, and all the rest of her belongings… and then promptly passes out in her roomie’s bed. Creepy. 3) Roomie A becomes OBSESSED with eating a pastry snack, which is literally made out of plastic. 4) Cult-y shenanigans involving white sheets, disappearances, and once again, weird roommates. 5) Stores where the workers wear huge fake heads, won’t help you find shit, and the merchandise moves around daily. All of this occurring, in a strange, dream-like, yet realistic world that only gets weirder…

Chris - Answer: Sounds like a bad roommate situation. But did anyone suddenly turn into an animal? In my book, a perfectly ordinary English lady turns into a fox. Her husband tries to pretend that everything is normal. They even sleep together. He dresses her in dresses, serves her tea, reads to her, and plays cards with her- while she’s a fox.

IS THE FORMAT OF THE BOOK WEIRD?

Katie - Rebuttal: First off, foxes are cute, so what’s the real problem? Secondly, it sounds like the husband is just a wee bit crazy, and I’m not sure what’s *all* that weird about that. (Just kidding, husbands are the best, and I hate “stupid husband” jokes!) Lastly, I’ll give you a point for the sleeping together, since there’s no way around that one… bestiality is weird.

Katie - Answer: There isn’t really anything all that strange or unique about the format. It’s a novel, with relatively short chapters which meander around a bit. The strangeness definitely comes into play more so in the characters, plot, and actual prose.

Chris - Answer: The format isn’t so strange as the author’s assertion that this is a true story and happened recently to real people. There are also pretty woodcut drawings of the events that happened that were done by the author’s first wife.

ARE THERE ANY INTERESTING CHARACTERS?

Katie - Rebuttal: So maybe the author has lost his bananas too, since he believes said story. I’m into it. Whatever works to get the words on the page, y'all...

Katie - Answer: Ummmm, yes, only all of them. I’d have to give the creep-tastic award to Roomie B for leeching out Roomie A’s life, bit by bit, slowly driving A to the edge of insanity, until A has… well, nothing much left. This includes practically starving A, only allowing popsicles and occasionally an orange in their shared apartment, cutting off her long hair and sprinkling it around A’s room because she thought just maybe A wanted to have it, and forcing A to buy her make-up and give her a make-over so she can look “just like A.” And so on, but I don’t want to give away too many spoilers! 

Chris - Rebuttal: Hmm, I don’t know it sounds like a lifetime movie plot. Maybe they are called A and B to protect the innocent in a “ripped from the headlines” kind of way! This is what happens when you find a roommate on the internet! Ha!

Chris - Answer: Besides the obvious Lady who turns into a literal fox, the husband is quite a character too. After he becomes frustrated with her “foxiness” he starts becoming wild himself. He grows a beard, lives in squalor, refuses to socialize with people. There’s also the Lady’s old nanny who tries to make the fox behave like a lady and gets angry with the husband when he lets her run wild.

Katie - Rebuttal: I’m sticking with my “the husband is losing it” story. Sounds like he wanted an excuse to exile himself from society, and get away with it! Although if the nanny is in on it… maybe she’s jonesing after the husband, and indulging his neuroses… maybe? Yes?

IN ONE NONSPOILER-Y SENTENCE, DESCRIBE A "WHAT THE FUCK" MOMENT

Katie: As part of a cult-y group bonding activity, members are forced to go on a reality TV game show for couples, in which one couple member must attempt to identify the other couple member in a pitch dark room, where everyone is naked; if successful, go winners (!), if unsuccessful, the couple must break up and place restraining orders against each other, never to speak again.

Chris: In a story about a marriage, someone cheats and it might not be who you think it is!

SUMMARY

Katie: I mean, do I really need to say any more? This is merely the tip of the iceberg as far as weirdness is concerned. We’ve got plastic food, zany shopping experiences, cult-y goodness, reality TV, costumes galore, and stolen identities… I mean, all that up against one, tiny, cute fox… please.

Chris: Sure, that sounds weird, but these are upright Edwardian British people. The idea that one could turn into a wild animal and give into her animal instincts (and the bedroom stuff, come on!) is pretty shocking and weird. Remember the times! This is groundbreaking stuff! And it’s all presented in this matter of fact kind of way. I think Lady Into Fox has the weirderer factor here! 

WINNER

How many more weeks am I going to be absolutely torn? Probably every week. I had made a decision about the winner, but in an effort to make sure I was being fair, I called in an anonymous judge who hasn't read either book. In regards to the winner's book, he said "it sounds like a weird nonsense world with dream rules where anything goes." And now, post-decision, I've got to say that it totally is. You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine is even more strange and disturbing than you could imagine. I'm super curious about Lady Into Fox; the time in which it was written and Chris' cryptic WTF sentence (what does it mean???) was what made it so close for me. But in fairness, we have to go for overall objective weirdness, and You Too brings so many strange elements into play. Katie wins the weird e-book bundle this round! Thank you both so much for playing!



Who would you declare winner in this battle of wits and words?